omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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