I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
