Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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