I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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