I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
