Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
