Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dear god my vagina.
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