How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
