I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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