My nipple is on Facebook.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
