I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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