So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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