You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
