Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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