either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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