I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
