He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
