Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
