Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
