And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
