Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
