My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
