just tell him i said nine months
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
