i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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