did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she was so not down for the gang bang
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
