would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
