i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
