I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just cropdusted the office
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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