Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
