is your mom at the bar?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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