Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
