my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
