I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
