You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
