I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He passed out mid-signature
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize