i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
