oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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