Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
