I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
