some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
