trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
