I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
