So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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