and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
