I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize