I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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