Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
where are my eyebrows?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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