I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
