I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
