Do you still have your period?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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