Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
