The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
