I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
