hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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