Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize