She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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