Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize