When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
