So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
