I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i will never coherently bang her
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
