used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize