you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
