We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
