the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
