4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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