3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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