yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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